Unrelenting Standards and Perfectionism in Executive Leadership: A Schema Therapy Approach
Exploring Unrelenting Standards in Executive Leadership:
Perfectionism is a concept often misunderstood in leadership circles. Effective leadership requires meticulous attention to detail and a commitment to high standards, but it does not demand flawlessness. Many view adaptive perfectionism as a positive driving force for business leaders, a trait highly regarded in our society. The pursuit of excellence and a relentless drive to excel are core values. Leaders stand out by taking decisive actions instead of fixating on perfection. Leaders with perfectionist tendencies demonstrate a strong dedication to maintaining exceptional work quality and precise standards. They excel in organizational skills and embrace a structured approach. Their strong work ethic emphasizes a steadfast commitment to improving performance and fostering productivity. While the outcomes of perfectionism may seem beneficial and lead to positive results, the idea of unrelenting standards carries its own challenges. Executives may view their unrelenting standards as synonymous with excellence, but others might see it as vanity, egotism, or inflexibility. However, maintaining such perfectionism comes with hidden costs that may not be apparent to outsiders. Internally, the idea of unrelenting standards can result in stress, burnout, and feelings of shame due to the relentless demands of a perfectionist mindset. This belief system is fueled by a fear of failure and a strong desire to avoid it at all costs. Consequently, individuals may struggle with excessive self-criticism, anxiety, depression, burnout, shame, and self-punishment. Perfectionism offers no room for satisfaction, dismissing concepts like “adequacy” or “commendable effort.”
The Unrelenting Standard Schema and its Signs:
“The underlying belief that one must strive to meet very high internalized standards of behavior and performance, usually to avoid criticism. Typically results in feelings of pressure or difficulty slowing down; and a hyper-criticalness towards oneself and others. Unrelenting standards typically present as: (a) perfectionism, inordinate attention to detail, or an underestimate of how good one’s own performance is relative to the norm; (b) rigid rules and “should’s” in many areas of life, or (c) preoccupation with time and efficiency, so that more can be accomplished” (Young, 1990).
Signs you may struggle with Unrelenting Standards:
-You set high standards for yourself with regard to your work/study performance, appearance, success and productivity
-You have been called a perfectionist
-You have difficulty slowing down You are intensely critical of yourself (and sometimes others) when you or they do not meet your standards
-You avoid activity that you think you will not perform well
-You do not prioritize activities that are just pleasurable or fun
-You are preoccupied with efficiency
The Origin of Unrelenting Standard Schema and Perfectionism:
The origin of the unrelenting standard schema is not arbitrary; it is shaped by memories, emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations that evolve during childhood and adolescence, influenced by family environments. Growing up in an environment where self-worth hinges on accomplishments, with or without criticism and a lack of praise, can foster the development of this schema. Keep in mind, initial caregivers might not have directly conveyed these messages but could have indirectly shown them through their behavior. It’s commonly observed that the parents of executives were accomplished individuals themselves, with backgrounds in legacy, graduates of prestigious universities, leaders in the corporate world, inheritors of generational wealth, and influencers in their fields. There is an implied anticipation for them to excel and consider pathways to future achievements, often guided by parental expectations. Persistence is instilled as a core value within these families, inadvertently fostering a mindset of unrelenting standards. This highlights the significant role that family values play in shaping the standards of the next generation, emphasizing the importance of setting personal standards and aiming for mastery without experiencing negative consequences like anxiety or low self-esteem when those standards are not met. These standards may have been set to avoid rejection or to seek love and approval.The correlation between unrelenting standards and childhood encounters that stressed performance or included criticism is evident in the therapy room.
Coping and Adapting Strategies:
Understanding personal patterns is essential for breaking free from unrelenting standards. To combat the pressure of perfectionism, it’s vital to pause, recognize accomplishments, and maintain a well-rounded perspective. One effective method involves rewarding oneself when reaching goals to manage high expectations. However, handling these standards requires additional steps. Seeking professional therapy can offer valuable assistance for individuals struggling with overwhelming demands. Another key aspect in conquering perfectionism is altering your internal dialogue concerning excellence. Many experts in behavior agree that our self-talk, inner narratives, and mental frameworks regarding issues like perfectionism influence our actions. Our behaviors often align with our deepest convictions about core values. Engaging in reframing, challenging the inconsistencies, and flaws in logic present in distorted narratives, is crucial for instigating change. Engaging in executive counseling offers a chance to accept imperfections, achieve equilibrium, reduce stress and anxiety, practice self-compassion, prioritize self-care, confront the fear of failure, and find harmony.
